“I guess that’s what I get for just handing out transdimensional hell-blades.”
“Gosh Satan, I didn’t mean to–”
“You know what, no, it’s fine. It’s fine! Just go.”
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Talk about a buzzkill.
Taken from this post on the phenomenal Out of Context D&D tumblr. Go follow it!
“Geez, no need to be so crabby.”
“That’s it. I’m killing him.”
SWEAR TO MEOW.
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Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, something about the healer’s peaceful slumber softens the hearts of the wolves. They adopt the healer into their pack and have many fantastic adventures in the deep woods. Later, the wolves are attacked in the middle of the night by an adventuring party, and the healer sleeps through the whole battle.
And you know what? It really wasn’t.
Nothing soothes his savage heart like the feel of wind on his skin and fabric in his white-knuckled clutch. If he critically fails his check to rip the shirt, does he put on a sweater?
As an aside, due to the number of stories I’m getting about people’s characters secretly being bears, I’m considering changing the premise of this blog to ‘Your Character is a Bear but No One Knows Stories.’




