Make like a tree and stand by as your friends are slaughtered.
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Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, something about the healer’s peaceful slumber softens the hearts of the wolves. They adopt the healer into their pack and have many fantastic adventures in the deep woods. Later, the wolves are attacked in the middle of the night by an adventuring party, and the healer sleeps through the whole battle.
As an aside, due to the number of stories I’m getting about people’s characters secretly being bears, I’m considering changing the premise of this blog to ‘Your Character is a Bear but No One Knows Stories.’
Talk about a buzzkill.
“Lo, brave adventurers! Have you the mettle to take upon ye this noble que-AAHH” “SKREAUGUGHGHH” (violent noises)
Minotaur: Wow he was hot.
Goblin: I see what you did there.
Allo~
I asked my patrons for their one-sentence, out-of-context D&D quotes and they delivered. The first three out-of-context D&D illustrations, for the @yourDNDstories twitter. Become a patron to submit your own! http://tinyurl.com/o9x25mx
“I guess that’s what I get for just handing out transdimensional hell-blades.”
“Gosh Satan, I didn’t mean to–”
“You know what, no, it’s fine. It’s fine! Just go.”
In other news, this exists: https://www.patreon.com/acstuart
It’s not officially launching until next week when I have a video up, but you can go ahead and pledge now or just take a look, and you won’t be charged anything until I officially kick things off.
Nothing soothes his savage heart like the feel of wind on his skin and fabric in his white-knuckled clutch. If he critically fails his check to rip the shirt, does he put on a sweater?