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Taken from this post on the phenomenal Out of Context D&D tumblr. Go follow it!
As an aside, due to the number of stories I’m getting about people’s characters secretly being bears, I’m considering changing the premise of this blog to ‘Your Character is a Bear but No One Knows Stories.’
If we eat the human, we will steal his strength.
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Honestly, I used this one because out of the thousands of messages in my inbox, the premise here was so beyond ridiculous.
Keep up with all my work on Facebook and Twitter.
Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, something about the healer’s peaceful slumber softens the hearts of the wolves. They adopt the healer into their pack and have many fantastic adventures in the deep woods. Later, the wolves are attacked in the middle of the night by an adventuring party, and the healer sleeps through the whole battle.
Talk about a buzzkill.
“Lo, brave adventurers! Have you the mettle to take upon ye this noble que-AAHH” “SKREAUGUGHGHH” (violent noises)
“I guess that’s what I get for just handing out transdimensional hell-blades.”
“Gosh Satan, I didn’t mean to–”
“You know what, no, it’s fine. It’s fine! Just go.”
In other news, this exists: https://www.patreon.com/acstuart
It’s not officially launching until next week when I have a video up, but you can go ahead and pledge now or just take a look, and you won’t be charged anything until I officially kick things off.
“This is not ‘a few extra.’“
“Geez, no need to be so crabby.”
“That’s it. I’m killing him.”



